"My Ancestry is also my Root System.

My ancestry is not just the past.

The lives of my ancestors are also encoding and living in me today, as I am a combination of many many life times"

Thomas Hübl

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We are connected to our ancestors, and neither time, space or matter can separate us. The narrative we share with our family begins even before our conception. Current knowledge indicates that females are born with their entire lifetime supply of gametes. That means that your grandmother, your mother and the earliest traces of yourself, were all in the same body - three generations sharing the same biological environment (It didn't start with you by Mark Wolynn).​Information from past generations, as well as feelings and emotions, are being passed on in the umbilical circuit from the mother's womb to the fetus's. The most powerful ties are the ones to the people who gave us birth.

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As we are a tree of life, our ancestry is our root system. ​

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The first layer of Ancestral Grief is the grief we carry in our bodies from sorrows and trauma experienced by our ancestors that could not be grieved and processed and got passed down in our DNA, belief systems and emotional processes. It is un-metabolized aspects of our ancestors’ lives that were not processed and handed over to us. No matter who we are, where we come from, from which ancestral lineage we descend from, our blood lines carry stories of un-digested losses. We hold Ancestral Grief in our beings, even after many generations in the new life. Some of these stories we know, some we intuitively sense and feel. Undigested grief that is still migrating in our blood lines. 

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When we work with Ancestral Grief, it is important to slow things down so that we can name things, as we can only grieve and be and mourn something that we can name. Grief is a creature with a slow metabolism, and titration is a tool for us to use to be in closer touch with grief. The natural way of our systems to break down stimuli or charge into small size bites that can be integrated and processed. 

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Slowing down also invites us to explore the names of the losses that are relevant to our direct living experience, and to name those who belong to our lineage. ​​​

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Un-processed ancestral grief may manifest as sorrow, suffering, rage, and guilt in the present moment. It might also lead to shameful thoughts about ourselves and our identities that we are unable to shake. Few among our ancestors were not faced by trials and tribulations, and many were unable to openly grieve these pains. Systemic oppression and hierarchies might have directly caused our ancestors’ sorrows as well as silenced any attempts to protest and process the suffering. And for many of us, we were raised in homes where our parents were stuck in survival mode. And when we are living hand to mouth each moment of every day, we cannot grieve. There is no bandwidth to grieve. Grief becomes a privilege, a luxury we cannot afford. For our ancestors, it was a survival mechanism to stifle their sorrows.

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Our ancestors were not able to experience and move through as a result of their living experience circumstances. And so parents with un-metabolized losses, traumas, grief, are not able to be present for their children in ways that are developmentally supportive and conducive. And so as children, we learn that it is not okay to grieve. We keep moving forward, because that is what we do.

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Since it is unsafe to feel and share emotional pain, hurts are often stuffed down and pushed away. Looking around our (biological and chosen) families and communities, we may see the impact of this unprocessed grief today. Difficult emotions may be quickly dismissed and repressed. Wounding, trauma, scarcity and poisons are at the heart of our focus. Perhaps, to many of us and to many of those around us, it seems as if even a teaspoon of grief is too much to bear. It may be an embodiment of sadness, anger, or guilt in the body, such as abdominal pains or neck tightness. It can be feelings of loss related to the disconnection that people have with their ancestors. It can show up as fears related to financial security and climate crisis. Everyone experiences ancestral grief differently. It is always very stifling, exhausting, murky, forgetful and disconnected. Some of the messages that our ancestors passed down to us were messages that they were not intending to pass down.

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Honoring Ancestral Grief work is very subtle and profound, that takes place on a molecular level. It takes patience, devotion, compassion and an open heart to generate and embody these changes, until one day the process unfolds organically and naturally without utilizing immense reservoirs of effort. Some of the positive changes occur on the neuroplasticity level, which is the brain’s ability to change through growth and reorganization. Some manifest as a deeper attuned nervous system and wider access to the information and sacred wisdom our bodies carries, a whole inner architecture that we get to know, our ancestry library. 

 

A big part of the work of processing the un-metabolized grief of our ancestors, is to grief for them, and by doing so, for us as well. Grief call us to life. There’s an importance in embracing grief to help us find deeper meaning in the joy and vitality of life.

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I have a little invitation for us - I wonder if we may tune in and listen to what is speaking to us around the question: "what is the biggest cause of un-metabolized ancestral grief?" just see if you may sense it in your body, in your heart, in your mind, see what information is coming up.

 

It is shame. Every family has a secret. The ways in which families hold secrets are different. These are very very old secrets, and they are usually perceived as very dark, dangerous and threatening the safety of the family. There is much shaming and fear around them, especially around someone else discovering them, and there is usually a deep secrecy around them. The un-metabolized, blocked, stagnant ancestral command is to bury them deep and as tight as possible, and to guard them, to make sure that nobody ever digs out the casket and opens it. And that same, that secrecy, builds much decay and festering around our inherent wise supportive ancestral wisdom. And this happens for a very good reason, it is important to name that these instructions of secrecy and guardianship are kept well hidden as for that time, most likely, they would mean a death sentence, a true danger of alienation, deportation, cease of existence or losing everything that we have.

 

The full fabric of our stories get lost under the blanket of shame and shaming. most of the secrets, as far fetch as itmay sound, have a more complex and multi layered intention and context beyond the sevre itself. EXAMPLE.

 

This is where the power of ritual, practices of prayer, ancestral honoring, and offerings step in. The intention is to gently, kindly and diligently tend to these well kept secrets in the utmost care and reverence and set them, as well as ourselves as a part of the process, free. We are not handing our flyers outlying the detailed receipts of these secrets. It is a deeper invitation, a much subtler one. Let us walk the earth barefoot, feel mother earth holding us under our feet, and intentionally pick up a rock. It could be a stone, it could be a rock, it could be small, it could be big, it could be heavy, it could be light. Is it possible to whisper that family secret to the rock and to ask the rock to hold that secret. And to place the rock in a place of honor. Nestled in a space of your altar or by our bed, or any other place where we would be reminded during the day that the secret is safe, and available. This is how we start, whispering the secret to an element and asking for the element to hold that for us and for our ancestry. 

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This is the place to name Intuitive ancestral grief - as many of us do not know the stories, either as they are lost, or as we did not grow up in our biological family cell. How do we intuitively tap into these narratives held in our bones. 

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The second layer of Ancestral Grief is the loss of the deep sense of connection with our ancestors. When this channel flow is blocked, we are deprived of the wisdom of our ancestors, valuable sacred information which connects us with the invisible powers of the world and holds us back from naturally organically grow in our lives today as well as open up the possibilities into the future generations, for those who have yet to come. Francis Weller defines this loss in his book, The Wild Edge of Sorrow:"in a very real way, we have lost our connection to the land, language, imagination, rituals, initiations, songs and stories - and because of that we feel homeless." Healing this grief may come through reconnecting with our forgotten lineage, allowing us to restore a foundation that may be missing, from which we can move more deeply into relationship with the wider world. Thomas Hubl names it as a form of ancestral soul retrieval. 

 

In this layer of Ancestarl Grief lies the loss of Ancestral heritages and heirlooms. Our ancestors are constantly gifting us life-supporting and life-affirming ancestral influences and wisdoms - talents, internal resources, a way of knowing things, ​ancient intelligence, resiliency, super power. 

The focus on our current cultures and societies is on the lacking, the wounded, the "broken", the abandoned and the lost. The un-metabolized grief hold a dense consistency in our bodies, hearts and minds, and that essence if filling up every vacant cell of our being. Even if we were open to accommodate the knowing that our ancestors handed us way more that un-metabolized grief and woundings, there is no availability or spaciousness to receive that crystal clear channel of information. Proper grieving frees sacred and precious space so we may call in these potent and ancient gifts, crafts, life skills and innate wisdom.
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The third layer of Ancestral Grief is the ancestors we are becoming. Without awareness, whatever is suppressed in the deep layers of our collective shadow will be passed on to future generations. By generating and embodying new rituals and healing architectures and archetypes, we transform stagnant energy into aliveness, creativity, ethical upgrades, and stronger collaboration across cultural divides.

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The prayer is for the individual sovereign work we do, to ripple into our families, communities, eco-systems, lineages and the earth. The hero's journey triumphs with returning to the loving arms of the tribe with the gifts and the blessings to benefit all. ​

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What we liberate in ourselves, echos back infinitely and eternally, as a different quality of energy gets passed on to the next generations. A holistic, ancient, awaked, wise energy. One that witnesses the stories from a birds eye perspective, one that is generating the oceans of compassion and light hearted freedom. ​One that is expanding our map of consciousness, that is stretching the elasticity of our collective memory and presence.

It is essential we support the accessing of ​our own inner wisdom, so that we may connect with the ancestor that we wish to become.

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We all have wise and loving ancestors. And our un-well ancestors wish to heal. - be honoring ancestral grief, we heal back seven generations, not only forward. 

That's when we find something in our life that we can then move forward, we affect our parents and our grandparents and vice versa. The healing is greater than a linear progression, it is a progresses in all directions. So what we do in finding our own connection, that will affect our parents and their grandparents. So instead of them affecting us, we're also affecting them in this space, time and pattern. when we heal something in our
lifetime, that can affect our parents and grandparents and great, great grandparents. 

When we heal, we are healing up line. Developing a felt sense of connection with our ancestors is essential to healing, and connecting with both the wisdom and the un-integrated grief of our ancestors helps us to be more present and grounded in our own lives, and welcome/enable both our personal and collective healing.​​

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By learning how to relate and connect with your matrilineal and patrilineal ancestors, you strengthen a deeper sense of integrative wholeness and connection to the stories alive within your lineages and the familial and societal patterns that shape you 

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about me - is passionate about breaking the cycle of historical and intergenerational trauma at the individual and community levels, and deeply believes in the healing power of coming together in community to grieve.

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​Honoring Ancestral Grif is an experiential program which is designed to help you access and integrate your lineages.

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​Ancestral data and information that is frozen/blocked. Vacabt, absent, closed, stagnent. Forgotten. 

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And what whispers at the ears for many of us is the grief that our ancestors were not able to experience and move through as a result of their life circumstances, contexts and background stories.

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It's important to bring the eco-system our ancestors lived in into our awareness, as it is interdependent . Family system.

Bringing awareness to that grief our ancestors couldn't process or metabolize, has bee. To turn towards my ancestry and be able to respond in a resonant relationship, 

when our ancestral dimension wakes up, and we become more aware of my own ancestry,

Our ancestors want to heal. Our ancestors wish to help us. A collaboration of intergenerational healing, learning, growth and integration.

“The purpose of rituals is to take us to a place
of self-discovery and mastery. In this sense,
ritual is to the soul what food is to the physical
body. Rituals are participatory activities that
involve the whole being: body, spirit, mind, and
soul. In our rituals, we call in spirits, ancestors,
and dimensional beings to guide us each step
of the way. Rituals are a form of continuous
prayer. They help us to consciously incorporate
healthy, genuine spiritual evolution and to dwell
in the sacred in a way that truly heals us.”

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Durindg the program we will explore:

➡️ Obstacles that block connection to your ancestors

➡️ How ancestral wisdom accelerates spiritual growth and true elderhood

➡️ How healing the past transforms future generations

➡️ How invisible ancestral lineage threads impact your life today

➡️ Why ancestral work is rarely addressed in traditional therapy
 

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Do you remember the sound
of the hips that cracked
to birth you
echoing all the way back
to the First Mother?
⠀
The ten thousand secrets
whispered into your blood
by every woman
that came before you.
⠀
The blessings of your lineage:
how to know yourself
how to live a life
how to heal.
⠀
The burdens:
how to hold your tongue
how to carry your pain
how to pass it on.
⠀
You look just like your mother’s mother’s mother
when the sun hits your face
and her voice slips through your lips
when you stand firm-footed
and say:
I remember.
⠀
You look just like your daughter’s daughter’s daughter
when the moon reflects in your eyes
and her voice drips from your tongue
when you stand firm-footed
and say:
this ends with me.
⠀
Don’t you realize
that you can midwife your own birth
as often as you need to?
⠀
Listen closely
to the pulse of silence
in the deep velvet of your womb
until you hear a gentle voice
that whispers
‘this is the way.’

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- Gina Puorro, from ‘The Wild Will Call You Back’ 

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An online experiential two parts workshop designed to deepen your understanding of grief, to allow you to reconnect with your loss in new ways, and to invite you to embody tools and skills to move through the process.

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As we welcome all of our grieving parts and utilize the wisdom of our living bodies, we will explore grief’s essential interwovenness with gratitude, love, compassion, and vitality. 

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This workshop is created for anyone who is asking to fully embrace life through navigating the terrains of grief, as well as for those of us supporting others in their honored process.

 

Western cultures have been putting grief in the back room. Avoidance, misperceptions and anxiousness still overclouds the sacred healing path of honoring loss and bereavement. Grief is a natural part of life, of being human. It is the common thread that keeps us connected. It is a process that is both personal and universal.
Grieving a loss or an absence is a powerful step towards healing.

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 As we navigate the great mystery of loss, it may serve as an invitation to love more deeply, to express more fully, to live in a more present and aware way. Grief is the northern star and the source of deep healing, joy, gratitude and celebration of life. A critical part of the transformation is learning how to grief. Learning we can grieve in the light. Knowing the power of doing our honored grieving work in community. Knowing grieving is not a taboo, it is a rite of passage. 

Grief may also come in a form of grieving what we never had. Grieving the absence of something you needed or wanted and didn’t receive is a powerful step towards healing.

To experience life fully requires us to move through the portal of experiencing death fully. 

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This workshop is created for anyone who is asking to fully embrace life through navigating the terrains of grief, as well as for those of us supporting others in their honored process.

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I welcome you to a space of sacredness, beauty and deep holding which offers the invitation to come more alive. 

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